Finding My Place as “Just a Homemaker”

I once broke up with a guy because he wanted me to quit college and stay home to manage the household. At the time, I was a college freshman, with my first serious boyfriend, and attending college under a full financial ride. Nothing seemed as far away from the life I envisioned than being a homemaker.

My, my how things have changed.

It honestly never crossed my mind to stay home until I found myself pregnant with Caleb. It was then that I realized that I wanted nothing more than to stay home with him. So during my pregnancy, we paid off my car, paid off our house to make that a reality. Though I did return to work from when my son was 3 months to 12 months, I had put a plan in place to make my wish to stay home with him a reality.

I still sometimes get people questioning why I want to stay home with my son. Why I want to “waste” my college degree. I can always go back to work. But this time I spend with my son is time that I will never get back. True, I do work from home (enough to pay my personal bills, to pay for our food, and to have some spending money) and it is work that I absolutely love doing.

It’s interesting how quickly people’s opinions of me change when they hear that I chose to stay at home with my son. I’m oppressed. I’m subservient. I’m letting a man take care of me. None of that is true, but in the minds of some radical feminists I’ve encountered over the past few months, it must be. We live in a society now where if you do not agree with someone, you become the enemy.

I believe that women should have the freedom to choose the path in life that they want.

The housewife’s job is homemaking, and she is, in fact, ‘making the best of it’; making the best of it by bringing patience and loving care to her work; sympathy and understanding to her family; making the best of it by seeing all the fun in the day’s incidents and human relationships.

Majorie Kinnan Rawlings

If they want to stay home, let them stay home. Do not judge them for doing so. If they want to work, if they want to not have children, have at it. You live your best life, I’ll live my best life. Our goals are different. It doesn’t make my goals wrong, just different.

Robb will tell you that I’m not the best homemaker. The dishes aren’t always done, supper isn’t always on the table, and the laundry basket sometimes fills up. But what I lack as a homemaker, I more than make up for as a mother.

I try my best to keep within our rhythm each week – where certain days involve certain activities (a bit easier during the pre-COVID era when things like the library were still open), like baking or playground or painting. I work to have a good balance of activities that not only fill up Caleb’s cup but fill mine. Seeing my son happy is worth it all. I have truly found my place as a homemaker and stay at home mom.

Yes, Caleb goes to preschool two mornings a week, which gives me the opportunity to do some work and reset myself for what’s to come. Unlike me, my son is a social creature where everyone he meets becomes his “new best friend”. But other than that time, we are together 24/7.

I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

So tell me – honestly – what is your view of those who dedicate themselves as a homemaker?

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